


Chocolate

by coveredsnow



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Hand Jobs, M/M, Revelations, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 16:38:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12214677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coveredsnow/pseuds/coveredsnow
Summary: When Light regained the notebook in the helicopter, he turned himself in. The team kept it on the down-low and pretended Higuchi was Kira all along, partly because of Light’s repentance, partly for information-gathering.So now they’re chilling in HQ, L and Light are still chained together, and this set-up is really just a massive indulgent excuse so that the scenes I wanted to write make sense – WHICH AREa) first kiss / confessionb) oh no share beds what doEnjoy!





	Chocolate

Light picked at his fingernails. He felt empty and raw. It seemed like the only interactions he’d had in the past few days had been confessions and apologies. There was guilt, his father’s face streaked with tears, L’s wide eyes filing away every gruellingly extracted piece of information, and then silence. How could he venture to start a conversation now. The murderer of hundreds.

"I wonder what it is, though."

Light looked to his right, where L crouched nibbling the side of his thumb.

"What what is?" He asked, his voice hoarse from lack of use. L had a habit of breaking silences as though he'd been mid-conversation.

"What I'm missing."

"What you're _missing_?" Light put his head in his hands. He could cry. "There's nothing left to miss. I've told you everything."

"So I must be missing something."

"WHAT?" Light threw his hands up, the chain attached to his wrist rattling. "What must you be missing? I've told you. Everything." Of course he understood the mistrust, but he was trying _so hard,_ and it hurt to have his efforts at truth disregarded as meaningless.

"That's just it." L popped his thumb in his mouth, seeking some remnants of icing from earlier. "Why would you? Past you was determined enough to murder hundreds, manipulate Misa, come up with a plot convoluted enough to dodge me at every turn, and yet - Light. Light." He tugged at Light's hands, which had been clasped over his ears since the mention of the murders. "And yet."

"I don't want to talk about it, Ryuzaki! There’s nothing left to say! Don't make my life one long interrogation."

"The second you gained the ability to execute your plans, you turned yourself over. Why? At what possible perceived benefit to yourself? Past you was convinced you were on the road to becoming a God. So -"

"Shut UP! This isn't helping your investigation! There isn't even an investigation anymore!"

"What could have derailed your plans so severely? You were certain that your resolutions would be the same, else you'd never have contemplated relinquishing the notebook."

"Ryuzaki!"

_  
("He's really putting him through it, huh," said Matsuda. Members of the task force often informally visited the monitor room to watch Light and L. Part of it was an effort to relearn Light’s character, and to decide what to do with him. Part of it was because L’s methods - when they seemed methods rather than madness - could be fascinating, or at least amusing, to watch. Part of it, some of them thought, was that Matsuda didn’t lead a very fulfilling life._

_Chief Yagami was watching with a fixed frown. He was in the room near constantly, trying to find the son he'd thought he had, his face drawn and unshaven._

_"I'd like to know too."_

_"Huh?_

_"What brought him back. I mean - I know he's not the same boy. But what made him stop.")_  
  


"It's not enough, Light. I'm not satisfied until I've deduced everything. And this is not something I'd ever have predicted. It's cheating that I know. I need to improve. I need to discover my blind spot." He had turned to watch Light, staring intently with deep black eyes. "You were a murderer."

"Shut up."

"A cold, ruthless killer."

"Shut _up_."

"You were _Kira_."

"RYUZAKI!"

"And you stopped. It's so out of character. It doesn't match your profile at al-uH-"

Light had jumped off his chair, closed the few feet in between them, and pulled L, easily unbalanced in his crouch position, to his feet by his shirt.

"Oh, are we fighting again? Well, any interaction could shed ligh- _mmph_ "

Light pressed his lips to L's. They were cold. He took the chance to flick his tongue out. Sweet. Of course.  
L's arms had fallen lax at his sides. He had frozen in place. Light took a step back, savouring the instant their lips clung before they parted.

"How's that for out of character."

He was breathing heavily, his hands clenched in fists. A mixture of frustration, anger and sorrow bubbled under his skin. Quickly being tempered with regret. Fuck. Ryuzaki still hadn't moved. Shit. He felt himself begin to flush, unwelcome tears of grief and humiliation stinging his eyes. As if he hadn't fucked up enough already.

With a quick darting movement, Ryuzaki's hand was freed from the cuffs. He had left the room before his end of the chain hit the floor with a clunk.

Shit.

_  
("Um. Chief?"_

_Shut up, Matsuda," muttered Mogi._

_"Chief?" an oblivious Matsuda persisted, leaning in. "Is - is Light-"_

_"I would have thought it's pretty clear by now that I don't know my son."_  
_Yagami was staring at the screen with wide eyes._

_"He was probably just trying to get L to shut up," Aizawa murmured. "I'd have done anything in that position."_

_Everyone leaned forwards slightly as L walked back on screen.)_  
  


"Light." Light, who had been staring into the distance, jerked his head around as L re-entered. He very deliberately reattached a cuff to his wrist. Light said nothing. He couldn't see any scenario in which this went well.

"That's it. You care for me."

Light felt heat rush up his neck.

"Of course I do. I - we were - friends."

"Hm. Yes, but I mean that you have romantic, or at least sexual, feelings towards me."

"Jesus, Ryuzaki." He didn’t know where to look.

"I suspect that your previous plan, centred on the principle of eliminating me, was shocking and distasteful to you in light of this. Combined with your earnest ignorant attempts to stop Kira over the preceding few months, this was enough to make you reconsider. Am I incorrect?"

"Will you shut up if I say no?"

"I will stop questioning you about this matter if I am satisfied."

"Well then - no. You're not wrong. About the - well Christ, Ryuzaki, are you ever wrong? Isn't that your thing?"  
L stared at him, unblinking.

"I'm wrong sometimes."

Light stared at the floor, vision blurring again. "Right. Right."

Suddenly Ryuzaki took a step forwards, and held Light's unchained hand loosely in his.

"It is a shame that you are a detestable murderer and that no-one in their right mind could ever love you."

"I -" Ryuzaki silenced him with a quick press of his lips against his mouth.

"There. Now we're even."

"I wasn't -"

But Ryuzaki had sat down again, and was staring at his computer screens.

Light returned to his seat as well, forehead furrowed, and tried to make sense of the last few minutes. It was no good. He pressed a hand over his eyes in miserable resignation as tears started squeezing out.

  
_(The task force stared, mouths open, as L turned his head to watch Light silently weeping. Soichiro stood and left the room.)_  
  


After what felt to Light like an age of silence, punctuated only by his obviously controlled breathing, L spoke.

"Light. It wasn't my intention to upset you."

That invited so much scorn Light was tempted to scoff, but he wouldn't risk it lest he start crying in earnest.

"By which I mean, I do not act with the goal of causing you pain. I think at the moment we are keeping relatively few secrets from each other. To prevent further frustration, I hope to continue in this vein of honesty."

Light wiped his face. After taking a moment for composure, he replied, "L, if I told you you were a sickly pale, unhealthy robot with disgusting habits and terrible posture, that would be honesty. Did that make you happier?"

L sipped his tea.

"Because that's in the same "vein of honesty" as telling me I'll die alone."

"I do not wish to enter a romantic relationship with you."

"Right! Fine! Obviously! Jesus! I didn't think you did!"

"You kissed me."

"You wouldn't shut up!"

"You used to punch me if that was an issue."

"I've hurt enough people. There's no excuse for violence."

"Next time, punch me."

Light inhaled sharply.

"I'm more familiar with the practices of violence."

"You -" Light turned away, ears burning. L would rather he punched him than kissed him. He supposed that was understandable. He was, as L said, a detestable person. 

Hang on ... 

"Ryuzaki." L raised an eyebrow.

"That wasn't your first kiss, was it?"

L popped a cherry into his mouth.

"I suspect in the way you mean it, it was."

"Oh." L's eyes were back on the screens. He'd really fucked up. "I'm sor-"

"That doesn't make it more important. Don't needlessly concern yourself." Light's face was on fire. He had, impossibly, made his current situation worse.

"Please don't tell my dad."

"Hm."

"Please! It's not important for him to know, is it?"

"I will not tell your father."

"Why are you saying it like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you - wait, you already told him? You snake!"

"I did not tell him. However, the cameras were never disabled."

"Wh-? But - but they wouldn't -" Light relaxed a little, leaning back in his chair. "L, everyone's got better stuff to do than stare at us all day."  
  


_(The task force exchanged abashed glances._

_"We should probably -"_

_"Yeah, leave them to it, like -"_

_Matsuda appeared from a door on the left._

_"Guys! Did I miss anything? I brought popcorn!")_

 

***

 

  
It might have been in his head, but Light could have sworn that movements were awkward and hurried as L and he got changed for bed that night.

"You know, you could just unchain us," Light murmured. He turned to see the utterly passive face he should have expected.

"It is foolish to take-"

"Suggestions from the suspect, yes, only I'm not the suspect anymore, am I? I'm the guilty party. You've got the notebook. What's your goal here?"

L chewed on his lip as he slid underneath the covers.

"The plans that you have divulged to us so far were inordinately complex. It is not outside the realm of possibility that this, too, is a ruse, and that -"

Light had stopped listening. He numbly got into the other side of the bed and turned his back. ‘So far.’ ‘A ruse.’ He still wasn't trusted. He was never going to be trusted. The lump in his throat threatened to choke him. He hoped that L would fall asleep quickly. He wouldn't be humiliated again today.

But L wasn't falling asleep. Light had become very familiar with his sleeping patterns over the past few months. Usually he would work until the last possible minute, and Light would stay up with him; the computer screens were too harsh for him to sleep, and he wouldn't have L's work snacks leaving crumbs in the bed. By the time they eventually got into bed, L would drift off in a matter of minutes, curled into a small ball, his soft breathing slowing to a peaceful lull. Light felt his cheeks heat at the thought and pushed his head into his pillow. But tonight, L was ramrod straight, and after ten minutes showed no signs of relaxing. Light squeezed his eyes tightly shut. Of course he wasn't relaxing. He was probably afraid that Light would molest him, after he had kissed him without asking and more or less proclaimed his love for him. Tomorrow he would probably ask for separate beds. With railings. And for Watari to watch them as they slept. Christ.

"Light."

Or maybe he wouldn't wait until tomorrow.

"Yes?"

Silence.

"L, if you ... Look, obviously I wouldn't try anything - or, maybe not obviously, I don't know, but ... If you want to get separate beds, or um, whatever, I totally under-"

"That's not the issue." So there was an issue.

"Well," Light continued a little testily, "that book didn't give me mind-reading powers, so..."

"I'm not sure how to broach this." Light groaned in frustration.

"It's so fucking annoying when you do this-"

"I have an erection."

Light shot up and out of bed, face burning. He didn't factor in the chain, and with a yelp L was dragged over to his side of the bed, scrabbling with the covers to maintain his modesty.

"Was that not the way to broach it, then?"

"Why the _fuck_ would you tell me that, Ryuzaki?"

"It doesn't usually happen and I believe it to be your fault."

"My -" Light covered his face with his hands. What the fuck was his life.

"Earlier you kissed me and the subject of a sexual relationship was introduced. That seems to be the most likely determining factor."

"If you're having dirty thoughts, L, just deal with it, you don't need to share with the class!"

"You would rather I masturbate myself lying next to you in bed?"

""Masturbate yourself"? Christ, who are you! It's just masturbate!"

"Masturbate, then," L said through gritted teeth, and Light got some vindictive pleasure from seeing a slight flush start across his cheeks. Not just an embarrassing day for one of them, then. Although the image of L lying next to him, stroking his cock … Light dug his nails into the palm of his hand, trying not to tip the balance further against him.

"Can't you just forget about it and go to sleep?"

L, arms now wrapped around his knees in bed, stared at Light and blinked slowly.

"That is what I was trying to do."

"For ten minutes! Try harder!" L raised an eyebrow and Light groaned in irritation.

"L. Come on. What are you expecting me to do here?"

"You are sexually attracted to me, correct?"

"I - wh -" He was going to get whiplash. "Do you remember about four hours ago when you told me you'd rather lick your own armpit than be intimate with me?"  
L pursed his lips in disgust.

"I never said that. I said I didn't want a romantic relationship with you, due to your criminal status and past moral stance. It has become apparent that sexual desire is not subject to the same criteria. Furthermore, you have shown repentance for your previous actions, and your views during the period in which your memories were removed suggests the notebook has a corrupting power -"

"So basically, you got horny and now you're backtracking."

L's forehead furrowed.

"You're not interested?"

"You're telling me that after all this, you still have an erection?" L paused.

"Ah."

"Right." Light sighed and got back into bed, keeping as much distance between them as possible. "Let's just go to sleep."

He faced the wall and tried not to be hyper-aware of L's breathing. He screamed inwardly in frustration as he felt his own hardening cock pushing against his boxers. What a fucking joke. This would be a long night.

"Light."

He groaned.

"What is it now?"

His breath caught as he felt a hand trailing over his shoulder.

"What're you -"

L shifted, and suddenly there was warmth curled around his back, legs crossed over his, an arm slung around his chest, and pressing against his behind ... Light breathed in a small gasp.

L's hair tickled his cheek as he whispered in his ear.

"It's happening again."

Light bit his lip. He held himself in intense control for all of three seconds before experimentally grinding backwards.

"Yes ..." hissed L, pushing into the friction. "Please -"

Light moaned and pushed back harder. L gasped and ran his fingers down Light's chest, hugging him closer, seeking the pressure. Light slipped his hand underneath his boxers and grasped his cock, stroking it in time with L rubbing up against him. L's breath was hot on his ear and Light closed his eyes as fantasies he'd pushed down for months came true. He felt L’s mouth on his neck, biting softly on sensitive skin, and heat shivered through him. Soft delicate fingers grasped his waist, and as L’s rutting picked up speed, Light wanted to see them curled around him.

He turned in bed, staring into the dark eyes blown wider than ever as he reached over and began palming L's cock through his pants. He gripped L's unchained hand and guided it gently to his cock, closing his eyes in pleasure at the first touch. He heard L swallow - God, they were so close - and felt his boxers being drawn down, breathing out heavily at the touch of a warm hand ... L's hand ... He bit his lip and brought their foreheads together, eyes still closed as he moved under L's pants and began stroking him. L whimpered softly. Light pushed into his hand, a little frustrated by a lack of action, and was rewarded after a moment by clumsy movement. He began to stroke L faster, feeling precome leaking out as his fist passed over the head of his cock. L's breathing became fast and shallow, and Light opened his eyes to find L's were clenched shut, his mouth slightly open in a soft oval, blush visible on the tops of his cheeks even in the darkness. Light jutted into L's hand pointedly, and felt haphazard movement starting again, and - oh. Sticky warmth spurted over his hand and L moaned, biting his lip and jerking his hips forwards once, twice, again.

L's breathing slowed as his whole body relaxed, and Light, bizarrely, felt cripplingly embarrassed. He turned on his back and stared at the ceiling, his face on fire and L's arm limp across his torso.

"Um."

After a few moments Light began to gingerly move L's arm off his body, when suddenly it animated and moved down to his cock once more.

"You don't have to-"

Light silenced as the warm dry hand closed over him. Fuck it, he _did_ have to. Light groaned softly as L stroked his shaft, clutching the covers in his hands and bucking slightly into the grip.

"You can move a bit faster." L sped up, but Light squirmed in frustration ... the grip wasn't tight enough and the rhythm was all wrong -

"L."

Just the sound of his breathing.

"L." He turned over to face him once more. "Have you ever held a penis in your life before?"

Okay, he probably deserved that death-stare.

"That is a very stupid question."

"Just - just let me -" Light moved closer, pressing their chests together, his cock against L's thigh. He ground against it and moaned in relief. He moved his hand to the base of his shaft and began rocking up against L, moving faster and faster, bracing his other hand against L's shoulder for support. God, with this chain connecting the two of them, he hadn't come in weeks, and the last time had been hurried and silent on one of the rare occasions he woke before L. He wondered if L had ever ... He groaned at the image of L with his fist in his mouth, hand jerking his cock, thighs trembling as he slept oblivious next to him ... He moved his open mouth to L's, kissing clumsily as heat built in his belly, hearing a small _mmph_ of surprise as he caught L's bottom lip between his teeth, biting harder and harder as the pressure became too much and - and -

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He gasped into L's mouth, shaking and trembling as he came over L's thigh and hip.

He breathed heavily as he slowly detached their bodies, rolling over to face the ceiling, stomach rising and falling as he panted. That was needed.

He closed his eyes, then snapped them open again as he felt L shift next to him. Right.

"Ah. Sorry. I'll -"

He reached over and got some tissues from the box next to the bed. He gave some to L, not meeting his eyes, then wiped his hands. L rolled over to face away from Light, and curled into a ball. Within seconds, his breathing was slowing, and Light could tell that in a minute he'd be asleep.

Right. Of course. Light stared up at the ceiling again, ignoring the slight hollowness in his stomach, feeling his eyelids beginning to droop. What the  _fuck_ was his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and kudos! Every heart makes mine sing <3
> 
> Phew there we go, first porn attempt. Is Matsuda blushing in the monitor room with his hand down his pants ...? who knows.
> 
> Please leave a comment! You could let me know: how did you feel about the jump-cuts to the team watching the monitors? Is it really obvious that I can’t decide whether to say ‘L’ or ‘Ryuzaki’? What’s the least cringey word for ‘arse’? Or any other thoughts that you had.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at [coveredsnow](http://coveredsnow.tumblr.com/)! (taking prompts)


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